So, I set this blog account up a couple of weeks ago and have yet to post anything. I think it's because I'm afraid to honestly post what is going on in my life. I've really been struggling with enjoying my life. Often times, I ask myself why I dislike my life when I am doing exactly what I've always wanted. I am a stay-at-home mom of two boys with a good husband. We are active in a great word of faith church. Our families are close by. I have great friends near and far. The one thing that is off kilter is my relationship with my Lord. I haven't been able to be consistent in my time with Him. But tonight I make a conscious decision to change that. God doesn't just want 15 minutes with me each morning. He wants me all day long. My day should focus on Him. So I can spend time in his word, meditate on it, pray through out the day. Sure there are things that I need to do daily like pray for my husband and children, but I've found in the past that if I stay connected with Him, the Holy Spirit will prompt me to pray for specific things. One of my favorite christian authors is Joyce Meyer. She encourages her readers to find what you are passionate about and pursue it in her book I Dare You! My desire is to be passionate about Christ in full abandon. About a year ago, I got before God and demanded time in his presence. I did not want to have to pray for two hours to get there. He answered my prayer and spoke to me about what passion was all about. Here is an excerpt from my journal in October 2007-
My desire is to know the heart of God and to have it for myself. Reduce me to love. I want to know what it is to be passionate about Jesus. He came to give life and to give it abundantly. Passion is to live life abundantly. Passion is to be proud of what God has done for me. Salvation and peace - whole, nothing broken, nothing missing. Take what the enemy meant for evil and make it all work together for good. I am able to minister God's love and healing and truth because it is evident in my life what God has done. The Holy Spirit radiates in me. The fruit of the spirit is in me because the Holy Spirit dwells in me. Lord begin to work in me so that the fruit is evident in my life.
Wow. Reading the journal entry from a year ago reminds me that I have everything I need to enjoy my life. Christ is my Savior. The Holy Spirit dwells in me. I have the mind of Christ. I have the fruit of the spirit. I am a Child of God. I will live life abundantly!